However far away, I will always love you.. However long I stay, I will always love you.. Whatever words I say, I will always love you..
The Cure - Lovesong


So I sat myself down
and thought about it.
Brooded over it
with bottles of red wine.
Contemplated about it,
drinking barrels of beer.
Pondered the matter
the hardest my feeble mind managed.
Reflected upon it
in great angst.

 Picked through all the details,
memories and experiences,
feelings and deeds,
decisions and desires.

One conclusion. A single outcome.
The only closure to my meditation
flooded my existence,
just as the sweat on my forehead
began turning bloody red.

And it was this;

that everything I ever loved,
everything that ever mattered to me,
everything that ever had the power to change me,
everything that ever managed to make me feel loved,
everything I ever wanted to have in my life
everything lost that I now mourn about;
everything begins with an "e".



For all I know, I'm alive today.
Luckier than millions of humans
who didn't make it this far.
Alive; at this exact moment.
The next? Who knows.

You say I must seize the day.
Take risks and fight.
Be positive and hope for the best.
Stay strong and never give up.
Take my chances.
Be patient and humble.
Chase my desires.

You say
I must enjoy myself
and celebrate life.

for all I know,
I can,
if I simply choose to,
in the exact next moment,
join those aforementioned millions.